Daddy here, for the first time in this book, but I've sure been thinking a lot about you! :o) The first trimester is over, so you're only 6 months away, but it seems like a long time away still. I guess that's a good thing, though - everyone always talks about how quickly the time passes once the baby is born, so now we get to enjoy the pregnancy for longer (or so it seems).
We're at the nurse-midwives office for Mommy's 14-week exam and everything looks great so far. The ultrasound we had last week was really neat - it's amazing how much you were moving around! And it really looked like you were sucking your thumb already. Just like Mommy and Aunt Abbie - they both sucked their thumbs for a long time.
Hey baby - can't wait to meet you! Your midwife, Gina.
OK, I'm back, and sitting at work now. I'm "on report", so I sit around the Boulder drivers' room waiting for someone not to show up, or call in sick, or for a bus to break down. [That's what I'm doing as I type up these entries, too!] Nothing so far, so I get to write some more to you. We got to hear your heartbeat again today, and it sounds good and strong - fairly fast too, so we're thinking you might be a girl, but won't know for sure for another month or so. The Internet quiz that we took thinks you're a girl too, based on (in part) how hairy, or rather how not-hairy, Mommy's legs are at the moment. :o) I hope none of this gives you any complexes if you turn out to be a boy! Probably not, though - I have a feeling you're going to be someone who is fairly confident in yourself. I sure hope you are, anyway.
Mommy and I were talking about what to do next year for Christmas - it'll be your first Christmas, so I know that Meemaw & Papa will want to see you, as will Aunt Abbie and the other Knobls, but we had also talked to our friend Nancy Lee about going to Hawaii with her too. Hopefully we'll get to do both, but we'll just have to wait and see what happens. A lot will depend on where we're living then and what my job situation is. [Looks like we'll probably be staying in Colorado for Christmas 2011.]
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Week 14: Internet predictions
The Internet predicts that you're a girl! Maybe Alexis Carroll Thye, Bubble. Based on 10 questions like how hairy I am, how fast your heart rate is, several answers involving how I'm carrying you - and although I have little confidence in my answers because I barely look pregnant now, I actually think they're right! I think you're a girl.
Many times this semester during my User-Centered Interface Design class, I sat here half-listening while writing notes to you in the back of my hard-worn spiral notebook. Before you were conceived, I wrote to my childhood friends Trevis and David, asking them to be my children. Perhaps your soul - the eternal part of you that has blessed me with your coming - actually is the same as Mom's or David's. Trevis in my dream seemed very surprised that I am pregnant so you must not be his next lifetime. He did seem very happy, though. :o) Whoever you were last time around, you'll be YOU this time!! And whoever you are, I am SO HAPPY you want me and your Daddy for parents. It'll be so fun discovering who you are, how you process the mysterious world around you.
I'm listening to groups of really smart graduate students discuss very creative research projects focusing on interface design. It's fascinating to witness the way people think and solve problems. People design for what we care about, and several teams designed great stuff for underprivileged users - helping poor families make healthier choices, helping lenders choose African entrepreneurs to lend $25 to (micro-financing), making text-based encyclopedias accessible to people who can't read. People, all of us, we are fundamentally well-intentioned toward strangers.
Many times this semester during my User-Centered Interface Design class, I sat here half-listening while writing notes to you in the back of my hard-worn spiral notebook. Before you were conceived, I wrote to my childhood friends Trevis and David, asking them to be my children. Perhaps your soul - the eternal part of you that has blessed me with your coming - actually is the same as Mom's or David's. Trevis in my dream seemed very surprised that I am pregnant so you must not be his next lifetime. He did seem very happy, though. :o) Whoever you were last time around, you'll be YOU this time!! And whoever you are, I am SO HAPPY you want me and your Daddy for parents. It'll be so fun discovering who you are, how you process the mysterious world around you.
I'm listening to groups of really smart graduate students discuss very creative research projects focusing on interface design. It's fascinating to witness the way people think and solve problems. People design for what we care about, and several teams designed great stuff for underprivileged users - helping poor families make healthier choices, helping lenders choose African entrepreneurs to lend $25 to (micro-financing), making text-based encyclopedias accessible to people who can't read. People, all of us, we are fundamentally well-intentioned toward strangers.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Week 13: Miscarriage, Priorities and Ultrasounds
12/8/10
It is so easy to forget that finances are only logistics, that they don't really matter. I spent two days in hospitals with a good friend who was miscarrying, and that was the lesson: I spin scenarios of complex issues to solve, how to breastfeed you if I get a job in Colorado that I have to commute to, but the truth is none of that matters. What matters is relationship, love. All the beeping nervous hushed sterility of medical care very quickly realigns our priorities: money doesn't matter. Logistics aren't the point. Love is. You are. Now, calmly imbibing my Happy Light before I go to the dog park with Daddy and the puppies, now is real life.
Thank you for not miscarrying. I am so happy you're coming. See you on ultrasound tomorrow.
12/10/10
Happy Light meditation again. It was awesome seeing you yesterday! You did such a good job the nurse said repeatedly "I really like this baby. It's so cooperative!" You lay on your back with your little curved forehead and nose in profile while you waved your arms around, put your fist on your chin and once maybe sucked your thumb. It was amazing! I posted an album called "Bubble's Really in There," location My Tummy, on Facebook and lots of people liked it and commented how great the photos were. Daddy and I decided to get food tracker books because he and I are both gaining a lot more weight than we need to be, but now we're in pre-diet last-ditch indulgence mode, so we got a great big Ben and Jerry's cookie chocolate syrup sundae on Pearl Street after we saw you and now Daddy's out buying donuts.
There is definitively only you, no twin, and the doctor said you look perfectly healthy. It's hard to believe there is half a year to wait before I get to hold you in my arms. But now we know you're really in there, all 7 centimeters crown-to-rump of you, wiggling around when I giggle.
Last night I dreamed of an old friend named Trevis who died when we were young. He was blown away when I told him I was 4 months pregnant, so I guess you aren't him. I wonder who you are...
Please go comfort Aunt Banana when you're bored of wiggling...
12/14/10
Bubble,
How do you feel about trying on Clementine instead of Bubble? Bubbles are so ephemeral, and they disappear if you touch them. You are clearly not ephemeral...
I just walked the Labyrinth at Boulder Community Hospital for the second time, waiting to have my blood drawn for an early glucose screening. It's a fantastic labyrinth and I look forward to walking it in Labor with you.
It is so easy to forget that finances are only logistics, that they don't really matter. I spent two days in hospitals with a good friend who was miscarrying, and that was the lesson: I spin scenarios of complex issues to solve, how to breastfeed you if I get a job in Colorado that I have to commute to, but the truth is none of that matters. What matters is relationship, love. All the beeping nervous hushed sterility of medical care very quickly realigns our priorities: money doesn't matter. Logistics aren't the point. Love is. You are. Now, calmly imbibing my Happy Light before I go to the dog park with Daddy and the puppies, now is real life.
Thank you for not miscarrying. I am so happy you're coming. See you on ultrasound tomorrow.
12/10/10
Happy Light meditation again. It was awesome seeing you yesterday! You did such a good job the nurse said repeatedly "I really like this baby. It's so cooperative!" You lay on your back with your little curved forehead and nose in profile while you waved your arms around, put your fist on your chin and once maybe sucked your thumb. It was amazing! I posted an album called "Bubble's Really in There," location My Tummy, on Facebook and lots of people liked it and commented how great the photos were. Daddy and I decided to get food tracker books because he and I are both gaining a lot more weight than we need to be, but now we're in pre-diet last-ditch indulgence mode, so we got a great big Ben and Jerry's cookie chocolate syrup sundae on Pearl Street after we saw you and now Daddy's out buying donuts.
There is definitively only you, no twin, and the doctor said you look perfectly healthy. It's hard to believe there is half a year to wait before I get to hold you in my arms. But now we know you're really in there, all 7 centimeters crown-to-rump of you, wiggling around when I giggle.
Last night I dreamed of an old friend named Trevis who died when we were young. He was blown away when I told him I was 4 months pregnant, so I guess you aren't him. I wonder who you are...
Please go comfort Aunt Banana when you're bored of wiggling...
12/14/10
Bubble,
How do you feel about trying on Clementine instead of Bubble? Bubbles are so ephemeral, and they disappear if you touch them. You are clearly not ephemeral...
I just walked the Labyrinth at Boulder Community Hospital for the second time, waiting to have my blood drawn for an early glucose screening. It's a fantastic labyrinth and I look forward to walking it in Labor with you.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Week 12: Wind River and warm fuzzies
In the month since the last entry you went to Wind River Reservation for the first time, testing software for my interface design class. Crawford my Arapaho Dad gave us cedar that smells good in a red bag with a ribbon, and his sweet wife Jackie gave us a beautiful abalone shell to burn it in. Uncle Kelson came with us to take photographs and see Native America for the first time.
My tummy is really starting to pooch out with you, and when I see the pregnant curve in the mirror I am excited you are coming. At night when Daddy rubs my tummy he sends you colored warm fuzzies, his fingers just inches away from you. We are both so excited you are coming!
Your name has been Bubble ever since we saw your Bubble-like picture on the ultrasound. You are just days away from being in the 2nd trimester now -- yay that you are hanging on! I really hope my peaceful times meditating in the hot tub are good for you, not bad.
If you still have angel buddies, please ask them to help our job situations. Maybe it would be great if Rosetta Stone wants me to work there. Maybe it would be best if Daddy becomes an engineer. If you can, Bubble, please ask Mom and others to make our life simpler in happy, bountiful ways.
My tummy is really starting to pooch out with you, and when I see the pregnant curve in the mirror I am excited you are coming. At night when Daddy rubs my tummy he sends you colored warm fuzzies, his fingers just inches away from you. We are both so excited you are coming!
Your name has been Bubble ever since we saw your Bubble-like picture on the ultrasound. You are just days away from being in the 2nd trimester now -- yay that you are hanging on! I really hope my peaceful times meditating in the hot tub are good for you, not bad.
If you still have angel buddies, please ask them to help our job situations. Maybe it would be great if Rosetta Stone wants me to work there. Maybe it would be best if Daddy becomes an engineer. If you can, Bubble, please ask Mom and others to make our life simpler in happy, bountiful ways.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Week 8: Due date
They found out from measuring you on the ultrasound that you are 2 days younger than I thought, meaning your week of development advances on Wednesdays, not Mondays. You look to have been conceived on 9/23/10, and we started trying for you on 9/19/10, so it was probably the second time. Your due date is June 15th. The logistics that have worried me so much are starting to fall into place, although a current financial crisis is impressing on Daddy the reality of your coming.
I am in front of my Happy Light now, drinking cinnamon and milk by candlelight. I went off mood medication when I found out I had gotten pregnant so this morning rituals is one of the healthy ways I am preparing for you. Now it is time to meditate and clear the space for you to grow. I love you, sweetie pie!
I am in front of my Happy Light now, drinking cinnamon and milk by candlelight. I went off mood medication when I found out I had gotten pregnant so this morning rituals is one of the healthy ways I am preparing for you. Now it is time to meditate and clear the space for you to grow. I love you, sweetie pie!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Week 8: First ultrasound
Little T,
Your Daddy and I are lounging in a cush waiting room with windows that look out on the same Colorado Rockies we will see from the balcony when you are born. We are waiting for the first ultrasound, the first time anyone in this lifetime will see you. We will find out if you are twins, and we will find out if you're still coming at all. I used to think you were twin boys and now I feel like you might be a single girl. We won't know your gender for along time.
I am nervous that something is wrong. Daddy is not. I feel yucky which is a good sign. Hopefully they will give us a copy of the fuzzy digital image to tape in your book! [And to post in this blog] And now I will meditate for a while, sip my decaf coffee while Daddy reads childbirthing stories from Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. And in 7 months I will be sitting on the balcony of the 3rd flood Labor and Delivery across the way, holding you at last.
We saw you! Or a fuzzy white splotch in the bottom of a dark oval surrounded by blobs of morphing gray, anyway, and were told the dark patch is my uterus, and the little white bit down in the bottom of it is you. So you are still alive, you are really in there, you have a heartbeat (a super-fast one that flashed 167 times a minute) and you are not twins. You look bubble-like, sort of. [This diary entry is where her name began.]
I did prenatal yoga tonight and read a bunch more stories after I spent time at Lori's. I read some stories out loud to you. I am so excited about being your Mommy! Daddy is too... he cried when we saw your heartbeat. Sleep well, my little Bubble.
Your Daddy and I are lounging in a cush waiting room with windows that look out on the same Colorado Rockies we will see from the balcony when you are born. We are waiting for the first ultrasound, the first time anyone in this lifetime will see you. We will find out if you are twins, and we will find out if you're still coming at all. I used to think you were twin boys and now I feel like you might be a single girl. We won't know your gender for along time.
I am nervous that something is wrong. Daddy is not. I feel yucky which is a good sign. Hopefully they will give us a copy of the fuzzy digital image to tape in your book! [And to post in this blog] And now I will meditate for a while, sip my decaf coffee while Daddy reads childbirthing stories from Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. And in 7 months I will be sitting on the balcony of the 3rd flood Labor and Delivery across the way, holding you at last.
 |
| First ultrasound (8 weeks) |
I did prenatal yoga tonight and read a bunch more stories after I spent time at Lori's. I read some stories out loud to you. I am so excited about being your Mommy! Daddy is too... he cried when we saw your heartbeat. Sleep well, my little Bubble.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
More Week 6: Wishes from Family
10/24/10
Little Thye!
You are going to have not just a cool uncle, but you will have the coolest uncle. And not to be egocentric, but that uncle is me. This life is not to be monotonous, though it often is tedious, but it is to be an enlightening gift that is continuously filled with a plethora of epitomes and realizations of the self. You will be here for a reason, and the path you take to get to that self-actualization will be hard but inevitably worth it. There are those that will help you, and always love you. You are not alone. -- Love, Kelson
--
Little T,
I think you should most definitely make it because if you didn't make it you wouldn't have awesome parents, you wouldn't get to see the wonderful things in life (ex. oceans, mountains and the sky). All of the things in life to experience, you wouldn't get to experience, because you didn't make it. Those are my reasons for you to make it. -- Love, Jean-Luc (age 12)
--
I don't know what all this "make it" stuff is. In my mind you are already here -- already a part of this family (whether you like it or not!) But I look forward to seeing what you look like. -- Aunt Sarah
--
The pleasure of the complicated splendor that comprises one's life far outweighs the uncertainty waiting in the ether. I'm very anxious to meet you. -- Uncle Chris
--
Baby T,
You have some wonderufl people waiting to meet you! It's not about what you're doing or where you are, but WHO you're with that makes life so great. That being said though -- there's some beautiful places to see, mjusic to hear, food to taste. Come see it all! -- Love, Aunt Lindsay
Little T,
I am writing from a rocking chair in the hospital where Kelson works. It is a beautiful, relaxed, fancy hospital and we are sitting in front of a stone fireplace with windows on both sides that are two stories high, like a mezzanine. Today you were near your relatives for the first time, but they will all be big kids (all but Julia and Obadiah maybe) compared to you. We also went to play games with Matt in a much sadder sort of hospital, supporting our friends. We played cards and boggle, and we ate a really scrumptious cookie Aunt Sarah made for you. Matt is very... exhausted, empty and hopeless. Hopefully you will get to know him.
Life is very dark sometimes, very dark. It can be easy to be afraid. I have been afraid a lot since I found out you're coming. I'm not sure why -- it almost seems like part of being pregnant is being worried. I don't like that, though. I want your world to be safe and plentiful.
Mine is. Yay. And soon I will be sitting in a glider like this one but instead of holding a book in my hands, I will be holding you.
Tomorrow is the first day of the 7th week, and there are 40 weeks altogether. You are between the size of a BB and a blueberry (depending on which book I'm reading). You already have a heartbeat and your pancreas makes insulin, which is amazing.
I wonder what color eyes you will have! I wonder what it will feel like to hold you. I should drive home now -- maybe Daddy will get off work early.
I love you Sweet Pea. Thank you for coming. Enjoy the ether. :o)
Little Thye!
You are going to have not just a cool uncle, but you will have the coolest uncle. And not to be egocentric, but that uncle is me. This life is not to be monotonous, though it often is tedious, but it is to be an enlightening gift that is continuously filled with a plethora of epitomes and realizations of the self. You will be here for a reason, and the path you take to get to that self-actualization will be hard but inevitably worth it. There are those that will help you, and always love you. You are not alone. -- Love, Kelson
--
Little T,
I think you should most definitely make it because if you didn't make it you wouldn't have awesome parents, you wouldn't get to see the wonderful things in life (ex. oceans, mountains and the sky). All of the things in life to experience, you wouldn't get to experience, because you didn't make it. Those are my reasons for you to make it. -- Love, Jean-Luc (age 12)
--
I don't know what all this "make it" stuff is. In my mind you are already here -- already a part of this family (whether you like it or not!) But I look forward to seeing what you look like. -- Aunt Sarah
--
The pleasure of the complicated splendor that comprises one's life far outweighs the uncertainty waiting in the ether. I'm very anxious to meet you. -- Uncle Chris
--
Baby T,
You have some wonderufl people waiting to meet you! It's not about what you're doing or where you are, but WHO you're with that makes life so great. That being said though -- there's some beautiful places to see, mjusic to hear, food to taste. Come see it all! -- Love, Aunt Lindsay
Little T,
I am writing from a rocking chair in the hospital where Kelson works. It is a beautiful, relaxed, fancy hospital and we are sitting in front of a stone fireplace with windows on both sides that are two stories high, like a mezzanine. Today you were near your relatives for the first time, but they will all be big kids (all but Julia and Obadiah maybe) compared to you. We also went to play games with Matt in a much sadder sort of hospital, supporting our friends. We played cards and boggle, and we ate a really scrumptious cookie Aunt Sarah made for you. Matt is very... exhausted, empty and hopeless. Hopefully you will get to know him.
Life is very dark sometimes, very dark. It can be easy to be afraid. I have been afraid a lot since I found out you're coming. I'm not sure why -- it almost seems like part of being pregnant is being worried. I don't like that, though. I want your world to be safe and plentiful.
Mine is. Yay. And soon I will be sitting in a glider like this one but instead of holding a book in my hands, I will be holding you.
Tomorrow is the first day of the 7th week, and there are 40 weeks altogether. You are between the size of a BB and a blueberry (depending on which book I'm reading). You already have a heartbeat and your pancreas makes insulin, which is amazing.
I wonder what color eyes you will have! I wonder what it will feel like to hold you. I should drive home now -- maybe Daddy will get off work early.
I love you Sweet Pea. Thank you for coming. Enjoy the ether. :o)
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Week 5: Why You Should Be Born
10/16/10 Reasons Little T should come join us
[For 6 months we'd planned a renewal of our vows with many good friends at a huge house in Breckenridge, Colorado, with the intention of indulging in some unhinged hedonism. We found out about you 4 days before the big party, so the plans of alcohol, hot tub and excess had to be changed -- and just after the ceremony to renew our vows, we announced that you had come to join us. 6 weeks is very early to announce a pregnancy because 1/5th of pregnancies end naturally during the first 3 months. We hoped to convince you to stay, so we asked our friends to write in your diary to give you reasons to make it through the dangerous first months. Here's what they said -- it worked.]
We hope you come join us little one! We love very completely and we believe in patience and indulgence and Magic Shell. You'll enjoy life. :o) -- Momma
--
Little T,
You were loved before you were born. You are special and can do any thing you put your mind to. Remember you get what you give and a person is as happy as they make up their mind to be. Believe in yourself and your dreams. Live, Laugh, Love. -- Kelly Harr
--
Little T,
Your parents love you and each other so very much. The warmth and kindness they exude is contagious -- they are waiting to share this and so much more with you. Aaaaand they will benefit from your smiles, coos, giggles, warmth and innocence. May the three of you bring the best of life to one another :o) -- Anonymous
--
Baby T,
You have the most amazing parents ever, and their dog kids are really cute too. I know that you will have more love than you know what to do with. We look forward to the hope of your arrival and watching you grow. Enjoy your time in utero! -- Anonymous
--
Little T,
There's a beautiful world out there waiting for you to discover. Just yesterday Mother Nature revealed just how kind she can be. It was a mid-October day but it was 80 degrees without a cloud in the sky. The high mountains were covered with a frewsh blanket of fresh snow, but the foothills were alive with fall colors. The most amazing shades of yellows, reds, and oranges with a backdrop of the bluest of skies. You would not believe the palette -- it defied any reasonable expectations of beauty. Imagine... that was a single day... an endless variety of experiences awaits you. -- Allyn
--
Ups and downs is how it starts. Then you start wiggling, squirming, just ready to make trouble. The best of luck to you Little T, making the most of your world. We hope to meet you soon and laugh with your Mom and Dad about just how unprepared one can be for parenthood. Take care and be nice to them! They just want you to be smart, athletic, beautiful, honest and of course the best possible thing in their lives. :o) Lucky you, being welcomed to a wonderful world where your parents want you.
Have fun, laugh hard. -- Malia
--
Hey, I hope you have fun with the little guy. And congrats. Well,l I do so hope you find the little guy adoring. Ph, just to say, they can be a pain the butt. Well that's all I really have to say. I'm only nine.
Love, Karl Gjerapic (Gordan's biggest son)
p.s. Hope he's not too big of a handful.
--
Hey little one. Your parents definitely need someone with good engineering judgment to keep them honest and firmly on the ground. This is where you come in. The whole reason whyyou and your parents should stick around. Your Grandma Carroll would be very proud. Love, Gordan
--
One good reason for Little T to come to this world is to understand so many different possibilities for himself/herself. The fact that there are so many interesting languages and cultures (as your mother would definitely explain) shows that you can be so many different things -- believe in as many wonderful things as you wish. There is a huge world waiting to be explored, both outside and inside the corners of your own mind! Love, Ashwini (from Natural Language Processing)
--
Little T!
Come and see us because we are old and fossilizing. We have come to have our own ideas and world views, and we like them very much. But you will have new ways of seeing things, and you will see new and different sides of the truth. So you should come be in the world so you can make us wiser. -- Sam Beardo (Linguistics Intern on Zapotec whose house just burnt down in the 4 Mile Canyon fire)
--
Hi Baby,
Come and it's better out here! You've got a mommy and daddy who love you, doggies that will be loyal to you, and many "aunts" and "uncles" who are excited to meet you! Love "Aunt" Angie
10/16/10pm
Little T,
Now is a fantastic now. Your Daddy and I married each other newly today in the shadow of the craggy Rocky Mountains. The good, kind, brilliant and creative people whose lives enrich ours with thought and friendship -- our friends, all of whom want to meet you and many of whom wrote or will write in these pages -- they all cooked us delicious food, hung up balloons and ribbons and lights, or folded napkins and cleaned the kitchen up after. Everyone's love supported us and everyone's love will support you. Can you feel that? Can you feel how happy they are that you're coming? In five years we will throw a less ceremonial Yippee for Love reunion and there will be a kids' table. If you don't change your mind about coming to join us, you'll be in the middle of all this love too.
May you be safe and peaceful. I love you. -- Momma
10/17/10 -- Wishes from friends at Breckfest
Little Thye,
You are truly lucky to have such caring, loving, understanding parents. There are so many wonderful things to experience in this world. Your parents will be wonderful guides. -- Renae
--
Little Thye,
You need to join us because Wyatt has a lot of fun toys that he will share and he will be fun to play with. We will show you all the cool things you can do on walls with crayons. -- Bryan
--
Baby T,
Please come join us. You have awesome parents that'll take you places and teach you things. You'll be the envy of all children. -- Casey (computational Corvey's partner)
--
Little T,
We are so excited to have you join us in this world! You couldn't have asked for more caring and devoted parents -- both to you and to each other! We love you already and can't wait to meet you -- besides my little girl will need a playmate :o) -- Lori [Her little girl is Nora Nieter :o) ]
--
Sweet pea,
I sit in the soft light of the fire on a big comfy leather couch. It is the last night of our luscious tiny yippee-for-love celebration, and the sounds of videogames down one hallway mix with the voices of your Daddy and his friends cleaning paintball guns, playing on the internet and watching football in a different part of the humongous lodge we rented for the occasion. White bells, flowers and doves still adorn the walls and mantle of the fireplace, and plastic balloons peek out from behind chairs. Sparkling metallic balloons still float with happy loving messages in the game room with the coloring books and the 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle of the world map.
Two of those mylar balloons are attached by pink and blue ribbons to the soft red diary in which I write. One says it's a girl and the other says it's a boy. We don't know yet which you are, though I am hoping you are one of each. I hope you are twins because I want you to have a perma-playmate and an ally to dive into Life with. Twins are said to be more than twice as challenging as single births, but it's all so challenging anyway that we may as well shoot for the sky, right?
Now it is very late, almost 1am on the first day of my 6th week of pregnancy. [My dating was incorrect, and the 6th week did not begin for 2 days.] My tummy just started feeling yucky which I'm happy about because it means you're really in there. I am sad because I miss your Grandma very much. She is an angel with you now so I bet you know her better than I do. Please smell her neck for me and tell her I love her. Chet said if I can be half the mother my own mother was, I'll be fantastic -- and he is absolutely right. She would be so proud of me for wanting you, for wanting life, after the darkness I've been through. She would cook me soup and rub my shoulders and sing to me. I miss her very much and I wish I could feel as close to her as you must feel. I want my Mommy too.
--
Little Thye,
How can you not want to join us on this incredible journey? You'll have two of the most loving, capable parents to guide you along whatever path you choose. Plus the technology when you reach our age (at the time I write this) will be fantastic. Hurry up and get here! -- with love, Joshua
--
Dear Little Thye,
Oh My God it's so freakin' much fun out here!!! There's pretty mountains and yummy foods (and beer someday but not till college!) and the music totally rocks (and it sounds a lot better without all the swooshing of amniotic fluid and such) and there's interesting scientific and philosophical questions to excite your mind and a whole bunch of fun stuff to excite your body! And most of all, the people out here are so wonderful and so much fun to hang out with while eating and listening and playing.l And there there's Love. I won't get into that right now but you'll get it some day, and you'll understand. It's so so worth it. So get out here already, it's time to have some fun!!! -- Danny
--
Little Thye,
You will have two of the most awesome parents. I know you will be well loved. I wish you good luck on everything. -- Chris Hood
We hope you come join us little one! We love very completely and we believe in patience and indulgence and Magic Shell. You'll enjoy life. :o) -- Momma
--
Little T,
You were loved before you were born. You are special and can do any thing you put your mind to. Remember you get what you give and a person is as happy as they make up their mind to be. Believe in yourself and your dreams. Live, Laugh, Love. -- Kelly Harr
--
Little T,
Your parents love you and each other so very much. The warmth and kindness they exude is contagious -- they are waiting to share this and so much more with you. Aaaaand they will benefit from your smiles, coos, giggles, warmth and innocence. May the three of you bring the best of life to one another :o) -- Anonymous
--
Baby T,
You have the most amazing parents ever, and their dog kids are really cute too. I know that you will have more love than you know what to do with. We look forward to the hope of your arrival and watching you grow. Enjoy your time in utero! -- Anonymous
--
Little T,
There's a beautiful world out there waiting for you to discover. Just yesterday Mother Nature revealed just how kind she can be. It was a mid-October day but it was 80 degrees without a cloud in the sky. The high mountains were covered with a frewsh blanket of fresh snow, but the foothills were alive with fall colors. The most amazing shades of yellows, reds, and oranges with a backdrop of the bluest of skies. You would not believe the palette -- it defied any reasonable expectations of beauty. Imagine... that was a single day... an endless variety of experiences awaits you. -- Allyn
--
Ups and downs is how it starts. Then you start wiggling, squirming, just ready to make trouble. The best of luck to you Little T, making the most of your world. We hope to meet you soon and laugh with your Mom and Dad about just how unprepared one can be for parenthood. Take care and be nice to them! They just want you to be smart, athletic, beautiful, honest and of course the best possible thing in their lives. :o) Lucky you, being welcomed to a wonderful world where your parents want you.
Have fun, laugh hard. -- Malia
--
Hey, I hope you have fun with the little guy. And congrats. Well,l I do so hope you find the little guy adoring. Ph, just to say, they can be a pain the butt. Well that's all I really have to say. I'm only nine.
Love, Karl Gjerapic (Gordan's biggest son)
p.s. Hope he's not too big of a handful.
--
Hey little one. Your parents definitely need someone with good engineering judgment to keep them honest and firmly on the ground. This is where you come in. The whole reason whyyou and your parents should stick around. Your Grandma Carroll would be very proud. Love, Gordan
--
One good reason for Little T to come to this world is to understand so many different possibilities for himself/herself. The fact that there are so many interesting languages and cultures (as your mother would definitely explain) shows that you can be so many different things -- believe in as many wonderful things as you wish. There is a huge world waiting to be explored, both outside and inside the corners of your own mind! Love, Ashwini (from Natural Language Processing)
--
Little T!
Come and see us because we are old and fossilizing. We have come to have our own ideas and world views, and we like them very much. But you will have new ways of seeing things, and you will see new and different sides of the truth. So you should come be in the world so you can make us wiser. -- Sam Beardo (Linguistics Intern on Zapotec whose house just burnt down in the 4 Mile Canyon fire)
--
Hi Baby,
Come and it's better out here! You've got a mommy and daddy who love you, doggies that will be loyal to you, and many "aunts" and "uncles" who are excited to meet you! Love "Aunt" Angie
10/16/10pm
Little T,
Now is a fantastic now. Your Daddy and I married each other newly today in the shadow of the craggy Rocky Mountains. The good, kind, brilliant and creative people whose lives enrich ours with thought and friendship -- our friends, all of whom want to meet you and many of whom wrote or will write in these pages -- they all cooked us delicious food, hung up balloons and ribbons and lights, or folded napkins and cleaned the kitchen up after. Everyone's love supported us and everyone's love will support you. Can you feel that? Can you feel how happy they are that you're coming? In five years we will throw a less ceremonial Yippee for Love reunion and there will be a kids' table. If you don't change your mind about coming to join us, you'll be in the middle of all this love too.May you be safe and peaceful. I love you. -- Momma
10/17/10 -- Wishes from friends at Breckfest
Little Thye,
You are truly lucky to have such caring, loving, understanding parents. There are so many wonderful things to experience in this world. Your parents will be wonderful guides. -- Renae
--
Little Thye,
You need to join us because Wyatt has a lot of fun toys that he will share and he will be fun to play with. We will show you all the cool things you can do on walls with crayons. -- Bryan
--
Baby T,
Please come join us. You have awesome parents that'll take you places and teach you things. You'll be the envy of all children. -- Casey (computational Corvey's partner)
--
Little T,
We are so excited to have you join us in this world! You couldn't have asked for more caring and devoted parents -- both to you and to each other! We love you already and can't wait to meet you -- besides my little girl will need a playmate :o) -- Lori [Her little girl is Nora Nieter :o) ]
--
Sweet pea,
I sit in the soft light of the fire on a big comfy leather couch. It is the last night of our luscious tiny yippee-for-love celebration, and the sounds of videogames down one hallway mix with the voices of your Daddy and his friends cleaning paintball guns, playing on the internet and watching football in a different part of the humongous lodge we rented for the occasion. White bells, flowers and doves still adorn the walls and mantle of the fireplace, and plastic balloons peek out from behind chairs. Sparkling metallic balloons still float with happy loving messages in the game room with the coloring books and the 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle of the world map.
Two of those mylar balloons are attached by pink and blue ribbons to the soft red diary in which I write. One says it's a girl and the other says it's a boy. We don't know yet which you are, though I am hoping you are one of each. I hope you are twins because I want you to have a perma-playmate and an ally to dive into Life with. Twins are said to be more than twice as challenging as single births, but it's all so challenging anyway that we may as well shoot for the sky, right?
 |
| Grandma Carroll and Mommy at the Original Breck Fest, 2005 |
--
Little Thye,
How can you not want to join us on this incredible journey? You'll have two of the most loving, capable parents to guide you along whatever path you choose. Plus the technology when you reach our age (at the time I write this) will be fantastic. Hurry up and get here! -- with love, Joshua
--
Dear Little Thye,
Oh My God it's so freakin' much fun out here!!! There's pretty mountains and yummy foods (and beer someday but not till college!) and the music totally rocks (and it sounds a lot better without all the swooshing of amniotic fluid and such) and there's interesting scientific and philosophical questions to excite your mind and a whole bunch of fun stuff to excite your body! And most of all, the people out here are so wonderful and so much fun to hang out with while eating and listening and playing.l And there there's Love. I won't get into that right now but you'll get it some day, and you'll understand. It's so so worth it. So get out here already, it's time to have some fun!!! -- Danny
--
Little Thye,
You will have two of the most awesome parents. I know you will be well loved. I wish you good luck on everything. -- Chris Hood
Monday, October 11, 2010
Week 5: Testing Positive
10/11/10, from handwritten Bubble Diary
Welcome to the World.
We are sitting in dappled shadow in the Shakespeare Garden courtyard by the old stone university building where I work. On my knee, folded in little creases and crinkled from a ride in my jeans, are the paper results of the blood test that confirms you are with me:
Pregnancy/Qual.HCG Serum
HCG, Qualitative
A Serum Positive
Yesterday, 10/10/10, was the day we really knew you were coming, because the digital "Yes+" left no room for your Daddy's uncertainty (as did the 3 positive tests that preceded it). That date -- 101010 -- has the value in binary of 42 -- the answer to life, the universe and everything. That's our answer, and since you decided to join us at the very first possibility, it looks like it's your answer too.
I will keep you safe. We will be calm and happy. We will enjoy each other and Daddy and the puppies. Everything I can do to take care of you -- which, now, means meditation and loving and being very careful to be healthy -- I will do.
Congratulations, little one. You are very wanted. Thank you for taking me up on the invitation. I love you, I love you, I love you. See you soon.
10/12/10, Happy Light
So far I've told 7 people you're coming (8 including Daddy) -- Uncle Kelson, Aunt Sarah, Banana, Leigh, Lori, Elaina, and Dadandannie. Everyone has been happy and amazed. Kelson's reaction was my favorite -- he was so happy and got so excited about how cool it is that he didn't think to say congratulations, just "That is so sick! That is so sick!" Aunt Sarah started crying immediately and said she can't wait, and that she'll give me all the parenting classes I want for free.
I've decided to start meditating now that you're growing inside me, so your world can be calm and peaceful during that time. Now...
**UMC Lounge
Sprawling on the couch in the 5th floor study lounge at the student center by my work, tired, tired. The soft rstling of well-socialized students in respectfully hushed groups wafts over the gray upholstery and beige walls.
Someone bought you your first present this morning -- delicious decaf triple-shot Americano with a peach scone, complements of Will Corvey, a brilliant soft-voiced computational linguist with whom I'm taking Interface Design this semester.
10/13/10, Happy Light
An hour after writing that last entry I awoke with my face pressed to a darkening spot on the gray upholstery of that couch, and an undergrad-looking girl grinned at me from across the room as I looked around blearily. The cast of characters in the study lounge seemed to have changed completely during my unconsciousness. So now I know if I need to sleep during the day there's a comfy couch in a quiet room where it's socially acceptable for me to take a nap in public, ah the joys of college...
Time to meditate. May your cell division be undisturbed and peaceful my little one :o)
10/14/10
Hii3eti' nohkuseic [Arapaho, 'Good morning'] Sweet Pea! Continue your miracle and I will meditate by candlelight...
10/15/10
Good morning little one! Yesterday I got great news from Vic, a woman who knows a great deal about introducing a soul to the world, or at least this time around. She assists at home births, and she gave me very different guidelines than the books have. The best thing I can do for you is... be joyful!!
Listen to music that makes me feel good, eat yummy food, look at pictures of things that make me happy. I'm going to look through photographs of my travels in the mornings so you can see all the amazingly cool stuff this world has to offer you! She says the more joyful is your temple inside me, the easier will be your road. I'd been getting super stressed out about not making any irresponsibly indulgent choices -- because I'm not drawn that way -- but she said my job is to be joyful.
When I tell everyone about you tomorrow night at the Breck Fest party, I'm going to ask them to sign this book and tell you about something that's worth being alive for, some reason you should stay until I get to see your eyes and play with you.
You should stay because I really want you and I will do my best to make your life restful and joyish. Joyish! Yeah. You should stay because you'll get to eat Magic Shell and see Wind River Reservation.
Welcome to the World.
We are sitting in dappled shadow in the Shakespeare Garden courtyard by the old stone university building where I work. On my knee, folded in little creases and crinkled from a ride in my jeans, are the paper results of the blood test that confirms you are with me:
Pregnancy/Qual.HCG Serum
HCG, Qualitative
A Serum Positive
 |
| Digital leaves no doubt for Daddy |
I will keep you safe. We will be calm and happy. We will enjoy each other and Daddy and the puppies. Everything I can do to take care of you -- which, now, means meditation and loving and being very careful to be healthy -- I will do.
Congratulations, little one. You are very wanted. Thank you for taking me up on the invitation. I love you, I love you, I love you. See you soon.
10/12/10, Happy Light
So far I've told 7 people you're coming (8 including Daddy) -- Uncle Kelson, Aunt Sarah, Banana, Leigh, Lori, Elaina, and Dadandannie. Everyone has been happy and amazed. Kelson's reaction was my favorite -- he was so happy and got so excited about how cool it is that he didn't think to say congratulations, just "That is so sick! That is so sick!" Aunt Sarah started crying immediately and said she can't wait, and that she'll give me all the parenting classes I want for free.
I've decided to start meditating now that you're growing inside me, so your world can be calm and peaceful during that time. Now...
**UMC Lounge
Sprawling on the couch in the 5th floor study lounge at the student center by my work, tired, tired. The soft rstling of well-socialized students in respectfully hushed groups wafts over the gray upholstery and beige walls.
Someone bought you your first present this morning -- delicious decaf triple-shot Americano with a peach scone, complements of Will Corvey, a brilliant soft-voiced computational linguist with whom I'm taking Interface Design this semester.
10/13/10, Happy Light
An hour after writing that last entry I awoke with my face pressed to a darkening spot on the gray upholstery of that couch, and an undergrad-looking girl grinned at me from across the room as I looked around blearily. The cast of characters in the study lounge seemed to have changed completely during my unconsciousness. So now I know if I need to sleep during the day there's a comfy couch in a quiet room where it's socially acceptable for me to take a nap in public, ah the joys of college...
Time to meditate. May your cell division be undisturbed and peaceful my little one :o)
10/14/10
Hii3eti' nohkuseic [Arapaho, 'Good morning'] Sweet Pea! Continue your miracle and I will meditate by candlelight...
10/15/10
Good morning little one! Yesterday I got great news from Vic, a woman who knows a great deal about introducing a soul to the world, or at least this time around. She assists at home births, and she gave me very different guidelines than the books have. The best thing I can do for you is... be joyful!!
Listen to music that makes me feel good, eat yummy food, look at pictures of things that make me happy. I'm going to look through photographs of my travels in the mornings so you can see all the amazingly cool stuff this world has to offer you! She says the more joyful is your temple inside me, the easier will be your road. I'd been getting super stressed out about not making any irresponsibly indulgent choices -- because I'm not drawn that way -- but she said my job is to be joyful.
When I tell everyone about you tomorrow night at the Breck Fest party, I'm going to ask them to sign this book and tell you about something that's worth being alive for, some reason you should stay until I get to see your eyes and play with you.
You should stay because I really want you and I will do my best to make your life restful and joyish. Joyish! Yeah. You should stay because you'll get to eat Magic Shell and see Wind River Reservation.
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