Daddy here, for the first time in this book, but I've sure been thinking a lot about you! :o) The first trimester is over, so you're only 6 months away, but it seems like a long time away still. I guess that's a good thing, though - everyone always talks about how quickly the time passes once the baby is born, so now we get to enjoy the pregnancy for longer (or so it seems).
We're at the nurse-midwives office for Mommy's 14-week exam and everything looks great so far. The ultrasound we had last week was really neat - it's amazing how much you were moving around! And it really looked like you were sucking your thumb already. Just like Mommy and Aunt Abbie - they both sucked their thumbs for a long time.
Hey baby - can't wait to meet you! Your midwife, Gina.
OK, I'm back, and sitting at work now. I'm "on report", so I sit around the Boulder drivers' room waiting for someone not to show up, or call in sick, or for a bus to break down. [That's what I'm doing as I type up these entries, too!] Nothing so far, so I get to write some more to you. We got to hear your heartbeat again today, and it sounds good and strong - fairly fast too, so we're thinking you might be a girl, but won't know for sure for another month or so. The Internet quiz that we took thinks you're a girl too, based on (in part) how hairy, or rather how not-hairy, Mommy's legs are at the moment. :o) I hope none of this gives you any complexes if you turn out to be a boy! Probably not, though - I have a feeling you're going to be someone who is fairly confident in yourself. I sure hope you are, anyway.
Mommy and I were talking about what to do next year for Christmas - it'll be your first Christmas, so I know that Meemaw & Papa will want to see you, as will Aunt Abbie and the other Knobls, but we had also talked to our friend Nancy Lee about going to Hawaii with her too. Hopefully we'll get to do both, but we'll just have to wait and see what happens. A lot will depend on where we're living then and what my job situation is. [Looks like we'll probably be staying in Colorado for Christmas 2011.]
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Week 14: Internet predictions
The Internet predicts that you're a girl! Maybe Alexis Carroll Thye, Bubble. Based on 10 questions like how hairy I am, how fast your heart rate is, several answers involving how I'm carrying you - and although I have little confidence in my answers because I barely look pregnant now, I actually think they're right! I think you're a girl.
Many times this semester during my User-Centered Interface Design class, I sat here half-listening while writing notes to you in the back of my hard-worn spiral notebook. Before you were conceived, I wrote to my childhood friends Trevis and David, asking them to be my children. Perhaps your soul - the eternal part of you that has blessed me with your coming - actually is the same as Mom's or David's. Trevis in my dream seemed very surprised that I am pregnant so you must not be his next lifetime. He did seem very happy, though. :o) Whoever you were last time around, you'll be YOU this time!! And whoever you are, I am SO HAPPY you want me and your Daddy for parents. It'll be so fun discovering who you are, how you process the mysterious world around you.
I'm listening to groups of really smart graduate students discuss very creative research projects focusing on interface design. It's fascinating to witness the way people think and solve problems. People design for what we care about, and several teams designed great stuff for underprivileged users - helping poor families make healthier choices, helping lenders choose African entrepreneurs to lend $25 to (micro-financing), making text-based encyclopedias accessible to people who can't read. People, all of us, we are fundamentally well-intentioned toward strangers.
Many times this semester during my User-Centered Interface Design class, I sat here half-listening while writing notes to you in the back of my hard-worn spiral notebook. Before you were conceived, I wrote to my childhood friends Trevis and David, asking them to be my children. Perhaps your soul - the eternal part of you that has blessed me with your coming - actually is the same as Mom's or David's. Trevis in my dream seemed very surprised that I am pregnant so you must not be his next lifetime. He did seem very happy, though. :o) Whoever you were last time around, you'll be YOU this time!! And whoever you are, I am SO HAPPY you want me and your Daddy for parents. It'll be so fun discovering who you are, how you process the mysterious world around you.
I'm listening to groups of really smart graduate students discuss very creative research projects focusing on interface design. It's fascinating to witness the way people think and solve problems. People design for what we care about, and several teams designed great stuff for underprivileged users - helping poor families make healthier choices, helping lenders choose African entrepreneurs to lend $25 to (micro-financing), making text-based encyclopedias accessible to people who can't read. People, all of us, we are fundamentally well-intentioned toward strangers.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Week 13: Miscarriage, Priorities and Ultrasounds
12/8/10
It is so easy to forget that finances are only logistics, that they don't really matter. I spent two days in hospitals with a good friend who was miscarrying, and that was the lesson: I spin scenarios of complex issues to solve, how to breastfeed you if I get a job in Colorado that I have to commute to, but the truth is none of that matters. What matters is relationship, love. All the beeping nervous hushed sterility of medical care very quickly realigns our priorities: money doesn't matter. Logistics aren't the point. Love is. You are. Now, calmly imbibing my Happy Light before I go to the dog park with Daddy and the puppies, now is real life.
Thank you for not miscarrying. I am so happy you're coming. See you on ultrasound tomorrow.
12/10/10
Happy Light meditation again. It was awesome seeing you yesterday! You did such a good job the nurse said repeatedly "I really like this baby. It's so cooperative!" You lay on your back with your little curved forehead and nose in profile while you waved your arms around, put your fist on your chin and once maybe sucked your thumb. It was amazing! I posted an album called "Bubble's Really in There," location My Tummy, on Facebook and lots of people liked it and commented how great the photos were. Daddy and I decided to get food tracker books because he and I are both gaining a lot more weight than we need to be, but now we're in pre-diet last-ditch indulgence mode, so we got a great big Ben and Jerry's cookie chocolate syrup sundae on Pearl Street after we saw you and now Daddy's out buying donuts.
There is definitively only you, no twin, and the doctor said you look perfectly healthy. It's hard to believe there is half a year to wait before I get to hold you in my arms. But now we know you're really in there, all 7 centimeters crown-to-rump of you, wiggling around when I giggle.
Last night I dreamed of an old friend named Trevis who died when we were young. He was blown away when I told him I was 4 months pregnant, so I guess you aren't him. I wonder who you are...
Please go comfort Aunt Banana when you're bored of wiggling...
12/14/10
Bubble,
How do you feel about trying on Clementine instead of Bubble? Bubbles are so ephemeral, and they disappear if you touch them. You are clearly not ephemeral...
I just walked the Labyrinth at Boulder Community Hospital for the second time, waiting to have my blood drawn for an early glucose screening. It's a fantastic labyrinth and I look forward to walking it in Labor with you.
It is so easy to forget that finances are only logistics, that they don't really matter. I spent two days in hospitals with a good friend who was miscarrying, and that was the lesson: I spin scenarios of complex issues to solve, how to breastfeed you if I get a job in Colorado that I have to commute to, but the truth is none of that matters. What matters is relationship, love. All the beeping nervous hushed sterility of medical care very quickly realigns our priorities: money doesn't matter. Logistics aren't the point. Love is. You are. Now, calmly imbibing my Happy Light before I go to the dog park with Daddy and the puppies, now is real life.
Thank you for not miscarrying. I am so happy you're coming. See you on ultrasound tomorrow.
12/10/10
Happy Light meditation again. It was awesome seeing you yesterday! You did such a good job the nurse said repeatedly "I really like this baby. It's so cooperative!" You lay on your back with your little curved forehead and nose in profile while you waved your arms around, put your fist on your chin and once maybe sucked your thumb. It was amazing! I posted an album called "Bubble's Really in There," location My Tummy, on Facebook and lots of people liked it and commented how great the photos were. Daddy and I decided to get food tracker books because he and I are both gaining a lot more weight than we need to be, but now we're in pre-diet last-ditch indulgence mode, so we got a great big Ben and Jerry's cookie chocolate syrup sundae on Pearl Street after we saw you and now Daddy's out buying donuts.
There is definitively only you, no twin, and the doctor said you look perfectly healthy. It's hard to believe there is half a year to wait before I get to hold you in my arms. But now we know you're really in there, all 7 centimeters crown-to-rump of you, wiggling around when I giggle.
Last night I dreamed of an old friend named Trevis who died when we were young. He was blown away when I told him I was 4 months pregnant, so I guess you aren't him. I wonder who you are...
Please go comfort Aunt Banana when you're bored of wiggling...
12/14/10
Bubble,
How do you feel about trying on Clementine instead of Bubble? Bubbles are so ephemeral, and they disappear if you touch them. You are clearly not ephemeral...
I just walked the Labyrinth at Boulder Community Hospital for the second time, waiting to have my blood drawn for an early glucose screening. It's a fantastic labyrinth and I look forward to walking it in Labor with you.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Week 12: Wind River and warm fuzzies
In the month since the last entry you went to Wind River Reservation for the first time, testing software for my interface design class. Crawford my Arapaho Dad gave us cedar that smells good in a red bag with a ribbon, and his sweet wife Jackie gave us a beautiful abalone shell to burn it in. Uncle Kelson came with us to take photographs and see Native America for the first time.
My tummy is really starting to pooch out with you, and when I see the pregnant curve in the mirror I am excited you are coming. At night when Daddy rubs my tummy he sends you colored warm fuzzies, his fingers just inches away from you. We are both so excited you are coming!
Your name has been Bubble ever since we saw your Bubble-like picture on the ultrasound. You are just days away from being in the 2nd trimester now -- yay that you are hanging on! I really hope my peaceful times meditating in the hot tub are good for you, not bad.
If you still have angel buddies, please ask them to help our job situations. Maybe it would be great if Rosetta Stone wants me to work there. Maybe it would be best if Daddy becomes an engineer. If you can, Bubble, please ask Mom and others to make our life simpler in happy, bountiful ways.
My tummy is really starting to pooch out with you, and when I see the pregnant curve in the mirror I am excited you are coming. At night when Daddy rubs my tummy he sends you colored warm fuzzies, his fingers just inches away from you. We are both so excited you are coming!
Your name has been Bubble ever since we saw your Bubble-like picture on the ultrasound. You are just days away from being in the 2nd trimester now -- yay that you are hanging on! I really hope my peaceful times meditating in the hot tub are good for you, not bad.
If you still have angel buddies, please ask them to help our job situations. Maybe it would be great if Rosetta Stone wants me to work there. Maybe it would be best if Daddy becomes an engineer. If you can, Bubble, please ask Mom and others to make our life simpler in happy, bountiful ways.
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