Week 5: Testing Positive

10/11/10, from handwritten Bubble Diary

Welcome to the World.

We are sitting in dappled shadow in the Shakespeare Garden courtyard by the old stone university building where I work. On my knee, folded in little creases and crinkled from a ride in my jeans, are the paper results of the blood test that confirms you are with me:

Pregnancy/Qual.HCG Serum
HCG, Qualitative
A Serum Positive

Digital leaves no doubt for Daddy

Yesterday, 10/10/10, was the day we really knew you were coming, because the digital "Yes+" left no room for your Daddy's uncertainty (as did the 3 positive tests that preceded it). That date -- 101010 -- has the value in binary of 42 -- the answer to life, the universe and everything. That's our answer, and since you decided to join us at the very first possibility, it looks like it's your answer too.


I will keep you safe. We will be calm and happy. We will enjoy each other and Daddy and the puppies. Everything I can do to take care of you -- which, now, means meditation and loving and being very careful to be healthy -- I will do.

Congratulations, little one. You are very wanted. Thank you for taking me up on the invitation. I love you, I love you, I love you. See you soon.

10/12/10, Happy Light
So far I've told 7 people you're coming (8 including Daddy) -- Uncle Kelson, Aunt Sarah, Banana, Leigh, Lori, Elaina, and Dadandannie. Everyone has been happy and amazed. Kelson's reaction was my favorite -- he was so happy and got so excited about how cool it is that he didn't think to say congratulations, just "That is so sick! That is so sick!" Aunt Sarah started crying immediately and said she can't wait, and that she'll give me all the parenting classes I want for free.

I've decided to start meditating now that you're growing inside me, so your world can be calm and peaceful during that time. Now...

**UMC Lounge
Sprawling on the couch in the 5th floor study lounge at the student center by my work, tired, tired. The soft rstling of well-socialized students in respectfully hushed groups wafts over the gray upholstery and beige walls.

Someone bought you your first present this morning -- delicious decaf triple-shot Americano with a peach scone, complements of Will Corvey, a brilliant soft-voiced computational linguist with whom I'm taking Interface Design this semester.

10/13/10, Happy Light
An hour after writing that last entry I awoke with my face pressed to a darkening spot on the gray upholstery of that couch, and an undergrad-looking girl grinned at me from across the room as I looked around blearily. The cast of characters in the study lounge seemed to have changed completely during my unconsciousness. So now I know if I need to sleep during the day there's a comfy couch in a quiet room where it's socially acceptable for me to take a nap in public, ah the joys of college...

Time to meditate. May your cell division be undisturbed and peaceful my little one :o)

10/14/10
Hii3eti' nohkuseic [Arapaho, 'Good morning'] Sweet Pea! Continue your miracle and I will meditate by candlelight...

10/15/10
Good morning little one! Yesterday I got great news from Vic, a woman who knows a great deal about introducing a soul to the world, or at least this time around. She assists at home births, and she gave me very different guidelines than the books have. The best thing I can do for you is... be joyful!!

Listen to music that makes me feel good, eat yummy food, look at pictures of things that make me happy. I'm going to look through photographs of my travels in the mornings so you can see all the amazingly cool stuff this world has to offer you! She says the more joyful is your temple inside me, the easier will be your road. I'd been getting super stressed out about not making any irresponsibly indulgent choices -- because I'm not drawn that way -- but she said my job is to be joyful.

When I tell everyone about you tomorrow night at the Breck Fest party, I'm going to ask them to sign this book and tell you about something that's worth being alive for, some reason you should stay until I get to see your eyes and play with you.

You should stay because I really want you and I will do my best to make your life restful and joyish. Joyish! Yeah. You should stay because you'll get to eat Magic Shell and see Wind River Reservation.