2/18/11
Daddy is breathing rhythmically with his CPAP machine in bed behind me and I am writing while lying on my left side, which is the most comfortable with (and possibly for) you in my tummy. I just got some orange juice and I'm hoping you'll move. I love it when you do. Whatever is wrong stops mattering when you move inside me. The world gets wonderful because you are coming. All night I dreamed about baby stuff -- visiting Nora [baby of Chet and Lori Nieter's, born 1/26/11] (who was huge) and hanging out with an old friend named Luis whose wife was (though I believe is not) pregnant.
Today is an important day to remember the mantra of this pregnancy: calm down, relax, stop trying. Everything is as it's meant to be. Including the foreclosure, the unfinished presentation [of Arapaho Voice revitalization software to be presented at a national Blur conference 5 days later], and (yay!) a whole bunch of chocolate...
2/19/11 Week 23, day 4
I discovered 4 days ago on the day after Valentine's that America fails to celebrate an important benchmark in the life of a woman: Mammary Gland Activation Day. On 2/15/11, for the first time in the 35 years I have been in this body, my breasts came online and produced glistening drops of what must be colostrum. My friend Ros, a writer with Rosetta Stone, bought me a scrumptious white chocolate champagne truffle at the Colorado Chocolate Factory on Pearl Street to celebrate; if I am alive on your MGA Day, should you choose to become a mother, I will buy you a white chocolate champagne truffle and a bouquet of your favorite color of roses. It is a day that merits celebration, as our bodies first become capable of sustaining an infant. I feel strong, healthy, like I WORK the way a thriving human organism is designed to work. In only 3 days it will be the 24th week, at which point you will be able to survive outside of me -- if you are born prematurely, you will make it. And my breasts are up to the challenge, which makes me happy and proud. I am thankful that I can take care of you; I look forward to many nights nursing you. I want you.
[...]
I am really jazzed about the trip [to the Blur conference] but I am really stressed out about it. Last night I met with a man named Harry Strunk who might help us implement the design [of Arapaho Voice revitalization software], might pay to make it real -- and I was so nervous and excited that I had contractions both before and after we met.
Contractions are when I can suddenly feel the Bubble House inside me. If I poke with my finger (you are moving like crazy as I write :o] ) then my uterus feels tight and hard, like a football in there. They don't hurt but they do make we want to puke [as of week 34 as I write this, they don't make me want to puke or feel yucky at all, and actually only make me happy if I notice them in any way] and they are a sign that I need to relax. I have been enormously frustrated because I am gaining a ton of weight -- 40 lbs already, with 4 months left -- so I exercise a crazy ton, but I have to be careful or else my exertion might bring on contractions. Emotional stress seems to trigger them even faster; I can work out really hard, to panting, before a contraction might warn me -- but it doesn't take much stress to do it.
If you get pregnant, be prepared to gain a lot of weight. I am trying to be at peace with it but it's hard. I hike, walk, do yoga, do workous videos -- and already I've gained more than is recommended for all 10 months!! My body just wants to be big, healthy and comfortable for my baby, all ready to nurse. I'm so happy you're coming.
2/21/11 Plane #1 Ever, Denver to Miami
Uncle Kelson and I are sitting in front-row seats waiting for a million people to finish cramming bags in overhead compartments. They gave me a big seat but I don't think you're happy about the angle, or about how tired I am -- it's past midnight now. Your first flight ever is about to begin. We are bumping over the tarmac and tiny green lights stripe the darkness outside the little window.
First moment of First Flight
Mija, we are moving a great distance to our runway. I wonder if you will love to fly as I do; I wonder what places --
oh, we are going faster!!
high pitch and lights blurring and
bumpier and we're
UP!!
You're flying for
the first time
this time
around,
the first of uncountable
adventures...
:o)
Flight #2, Miami to Orlando
Boy, was it uncomfortable! Slept a lot though. Discovered I never sit as upright, or still, as that -- Denver to Miami, like 4 hours -- for that long. Stuff just got punitively uncomfortable, so I did barefoot yoga on the floor in the Miami airport, which felt fantastic. No contractions yet, though I felt pretty close in DIA waiting to board.
Now we are waiting for the second flight to taxi. American airlines has been wonderful to me, finding me isle seats both flights; Uncle Kelson has also been wonderful, since he has had to nod sleeplessly in the middle seat with a pregnant Muffin on one side and a stranger on the other.
Time for ear plugs and a blind-fold. I love you sweetie! See you in Orlando!
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